Ups and downs

One of the lessons I have come to understand about myself is that I write because there is a deep need to tell a story. I thought that through my writing people, readers would find what I had to say fascinating or at least interesting and therein lies the hard lesson. I thought that my debut novel would get longlisted for the NZ Ngaio Marsh Awards this year, but I didn’t get a look in. I asked myself why and I don’t have an answer.

The reviews were all more than good, everyone who read it is keen to read a sequel,  so what am I missing. what am I doing wrong, what do I need to do to get my craft better? One reviewer described me as an emerging talent…I wonder where I am emerging from??  It’s not that I want an award to preen….but what an award does is help springboard the book to a wider reading audience and I get known and that helps me with marketing and hopefully a publishing deal and in the process becoming a better writer.  I did get longlisted for the Australian Davitt awards for female crime writers, but not shortlisted.

Right now, I am more than halfway through my sequel and I am wobbling as to how I feel. It needs to be better than Reasons but I don’t know how to judge its merit anymore. So, as I write this, I will box on, determined and I won’t quit. I will become a better writer and I will be patient.